The Road Less Traveled...

Every once in awhile, I’ll just hit the next blog button to see where I wind up. This time, it was the blog of some fifteen year old out in California (I think). Talk about your alien worlds, I really felt like a stranger in a strange land looking through that one. It linked to the blogs of other teenage girls where I found this gem:

He’s a bastard!
He sux!
Why must he always do things that agitate people?!
The way he expresses himself makes me angrier!
The way he looks at people, the way he talks
You can slap across his bloody face and curse his cock!
Today’s P.E.,
I yelled and swore at him
Son of a bitch!
Out of mid, out of sight!
Fuck off! si liuyang! KNNCB!

Which actually had me laughing a good deal.

I imagine I’ve officially moved into the “crotchety phase” of life as I find it hard to put stock in the musings of someone who probably can’t remember a president before Bill Clinton. Then again, it’s not that far off from the people who are going to be in the graduating class of ’05.

How scary.

The Soviet Union is ancient history. There was never a time when there wasn’t an internet or cell phones. Lord, the next thing you know I’ll be like that Dana Carvey character - “In my day...”

Grumpy Old Man: I’m old and I’m not happy. Everything today is improved and I don’t like it. I hate it! In my day we didn’t have hair dryers. If you wanted to blow dry your hair you stood outside during a hurricane. Your hair was dry but you had a sharp piece of wood driven clear through your skull and that’s the way it was and you liked it! You loved it. Whoopee, I'm a human head-kabob. We didn't have Manoxidol and Hair Wings, in my day if your hair started falling out when you were 16 by 19 you were a bald freak. There was nothing you could do about it. Children would spit at you and nobody would mate with you so you couldn’t pass on your disgusting baldness genes. You were a public menace, a crome dome by age 20 and that’s the way it was and we liked it! We loved it. Hallelujiah look at me, I’m a bald freak oh happy day! Not like today, everybody feeling good about themselves. I hate it! In my day we didn’t have these thin laytex condoms. So you could enjoy sexual pleasure. In my day there was only one kind of condom. You took a rabbit skin and wrapped around your privates and tied it off with a bungee cord and you couldn't feel nothing! And half the time you didn't even know your partner was there. And we used the same one over and over again! ’Cause we were ignorant morons! Just a bunch of hairless, head-kabobs standing around with rabbit skins on our dinks and that's the way we liked it!

Everytime I think about stuff like this, I can’t say I have the desire to turn back the clock and be fifteen again but, I wouldn’t mind being in my thirties once more. Einstein should have had some kind of theorum about the passage of time as one gets older because time certainly seems to go by faster and faster.

The kids doing time in Iraq now (the ones in their twenties anyway), were born during Reagan’s second term - that’s a really scary thought.